Bumm Dum Tillium Written 1962 Background:  When I received a tape recorder as a Christmas present in 1961, I noticed it had two speeds.  Maybe, I thought, I could use it to play the piano twice as fast. The piece I chose for this experiment was Beethoven’s “Écossaise” (WoO 83), which I had been practicing without being able to attain the brisk tempo that Ludwig had specified with his Mälzel's Metronome number. I determined to perform “Écossaise” as quickly as possible, making only a few mistakes, while recording myself at 3.75 inches per second.  Then I could play the tape back at 7.50 inches per second and sound like a virtuoso.  The music, of course, would be an octave higher.  Here’s the result in the form of a 1.3 Mb .wma audio file, 1:52 in length.  Enjoy! New information:  Four years later, the Beatles needed a baroque instrumental bridge for John Lennon’s song “In My Life.”  Producer George Martin wrote a little two-part piano invention but wasn't able to play it at 104 beats per minute, so he first recorded it at 52.  The full-speed playback, one octave higher and with quicker decay, sounds rather like a harpsichord.  It’s far more musical than my experiment. But wait, there’s more!  Practicing “Écossaise” over and over, I couldn’t resist putting words to it.  Silly words, for the most part. In many places, the following lyrics don’t match the melody note-for-note; I must have envisioned the Beethoven as a mere piano accompaniment to my imaginary singer’s somewhat more simple vocal line.  But the lyrics include a commercial for my father’s auto dealership, a catalog of miscolored flora, and a little love song to someone I’d like to meet.   Try Supreme, buy ice cream, Eat Swiss cheese, meet Chinese. Go bowling, slow trolling, Fly casting, high-masting.      Try Supreme, buy ice cream,      Eat Swiss cheese, meet Chinese.      Go bowling, slow trolling,      Fly casting, high-masting. Bumm dum tillium, bumm dum tillium, Bumm dum tillium, ta de da du de da, Bumm dum tillium, bumm dum tillium, Bumm dum tillium, ta de da dum. Tway, squay, make your car Chevrolet. Tweel, squeel, make your car Oldsmobile. Bumm dum tillium, bumm dum tillium, Bumm dum tillium, ta de da du de da, Bumm dum tillium, bumm dum tillium, Bumm dum tillium, ta de da dum.

Red marigolds and pink chrysanthemums, White phlox —       not of sheep, not of goats, but of flowers. Red marigolds and pink chrysanthemums, Orange pears,       purple limes, yellow grapes, blue roses. Bumm dum tillium, bumm dum tillium, Bumm dum tillium, ta de da du de da, Bumm dum tillium, bumm dum tillium, Bumm dum tillium, ta de da dum. White cake, light cake, Yellow cake, or angel food. Spice cake, rice cake, Lemon cake, or devil’s food. Bumm dum tillium, bumm dum tillium, Bumm dum tillium, ta de da du de da, Bumm dum tillium, bumm dum tillium, Bumm dum tillium, ta de da dum. Whisper to me, whisper to me; Make it soft, make it very sweet. Whisper to me, whisper to me; I know you.  You, I’d like to meet. Bumm dum tillium, bumm dum tillium, Bumm dum tillium, ta de da du de da, Bumm dum tillium, bumm dum tillium, Bumm dum tillium, ta de da dum. Where is the mouse?  He’s in the house.      He’s started sleeping there,      Set up housekeeping there. I bought a trap.  It did go “snap.”      He was not caught in it,      But my foot got in it. Bumm dum tillium, bumm dum tillium, Bumm dum tillium, tadididi duhdididi, Bumm dum tillium, bumm dum tillium, Bumm dum tillium, tadidididum. Try Supreme, buy ice cream, Eat Swiss cheese, meet Chinese. Go bowling, slow trolling, Fly casting, high-masting.      Try Supreme, buy ice cream,      Eat Swiss cheese, meet Chinese.      Go bowling, slow trolling,      Fly casting, high-masting. Bumm dum tillium, bumm dum tillium, Bumm dum tillium, tadididi duhdididi, Bumm dum tillium, bumm dum tillium, Bumm dum tillium, tadidididum. Bumm dum tillium, bumm dum tillium, Bumm dum tillium, tadididi duhdididi, Bumm dum tillium, bumm dum tillium, Bumm dum tillium, tadidididum.      Tadidididum.      Tadidididum, Bumm dum, bumm dum, Bumm dum, bumm dum!