When Peas Fly
Written September
24, 2008
Did you
hear that, Leonard? What the man on TV just said. The
announcer. He said, "This game is brought to you by
Southwest Airlines. Please don't fly with us."
Now isn't
that ridiculous? Why would an airline say that? Begging
people not to get on their planes? That can't be good for business.
You're
probably right. I must have heard it wrong. I wonder what
he really meant to say.
Now that
doesn't make any sense, either, Leonard. "Peas don't fly
with us"? Peas don't fly with anybody. For goodness
sakes, they don't even fly in the grocery store.
Oh, that
reminds me. Yesterday at the supermarket, I was looking for
Campbell's split pea soup. You always used to love it.
But I couldn't find any! No pea soup anywhere, not even the
powdered kind. When did they stop making it?
I finally
did find a little can back in the organic foods section. I'll
heat it up for you tomorrow for lunch.
Click
the illustration for the inside story
But pea
soup used to be popular. Comfort food, they called it, nice and
smooth and warm and creamy but good for you, don't you know,
because it's made out of vegetables. With celery and carrots
and onions and spices and everything. Remember, down at Denny's
it used to be on the menu a couple days a week. We used to talk
about "a pea-soup fog." Kids today don't know what we
mean by that.
You know
what I think happened? I think too many people saw that
movie. You know the one I mean. With the priest and the
devil and the little girl. What was it called? That's
it! The Exorcist. You remember that disgusting
scene when the girl ... that's right ... yes, that turned my stomach
too. Well, they used pea soup for that. That's right,
that's what I heard. And I'm sure that afterwards, a lot of
people couldn't look at a bowl of it without thinking about that
movie. That's what I think.
What were
we talking about? Oh, the man on TV. "Please don't
fly with us." Well, what else could he have said, Leonard?
"Bees
don't fly with us"? Of course they don't. Bees have
their own wings. "Fleas"? I don't think so.
What's
that? "Fees"? "Fees don't fly with
us"? Well, that sort of makes sense. These airlines
are charging extra for things, you know. Things that used to be
free: checking baggage or getting a drink of water or using the
bathroom. And I saw this ad about how Southwest doesn't do
that. Doesn't charge extra fees. "Fees don't fly
with us." I guess it makes sense.
It
certainly is easy to misunderstand, though. The slogan.
You think he's saying "Please don't," the way he
emphasizes the "Please." But he's really saying "Fees don't."
No, I
don't think that means it's a bad slogan, not
necessarily. It gets your attention. Makes you think.
Well, of
course, Leonard, I could fix you something different for lunch
tomorrow. I was only remembering, you always used to love pea soup.
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