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The Disciple Whom Jesus Loved
Written April 9, 2021

 

I, John, your brother and companion in the suffering and patient endurance that we have learned from our Lord Jesus Christ, have been reading the Gospel of Mark and the Gospel of Luke.  These new books are quite valuable, of course, but I feel compelled to write an additional Gospel myself from a rather different and more philosophical perspective.

However, I have encountered a problem.  One of my sources is a letter that I have received from one of the Lord's disciples.  It was sent to me by Mary Magdalene.  Yes, I do consider her to be a disciple, even though she is in fact a woman.

We are hesitant to reveal the secret to outsiders, but some of us are aware that Mary and Jesus were very much in love.

For example, it has been written by the Gnostics in their Gospel of Philip that “There were three who always walked with the Lord: Mary his mother, and her sister, and Magdalene — the one who was called his companion.

“The Lord loved her more than all the disciples and used to kiss her often.  The rest of the disciples said to him, ‘Why do you love her more than all of us?’  The Savior answered and said to them, ‘Why do I not love you like her?’”

In fact, Mary Magdalene hoped to become his wife.  But then Jesus was arrested and crucified.  Her letter to me recalls her experiences during that terrible week.  Yes, Mary is the disciple who testified to these things and wrote them down.  We know that her testimony is true.  [John 21:24]~

My difficulty, of course, is that she is female.  Testimony from women is considered unreliable, and her statements would certainly be inadmissible as evidence in a court of law.  Women have a tendency to get emotional.  Some even become hysterical.

And that is especially a problem in the case of Mary Magdalene.  She might be mentally unstable.  My Gospel will probably avoid mentioning this, but as Mark and Luke have reported, it was necessary for Jesus to drive seven demons out of her!  [Mark 16:9, Luke 8:2]~

Perhaps, I thought, I should attribute Mary's testimony to an anonymous disciple — a person whom my readers will naturally assume to be a man.  I could conceal the deception by using pronouns such as “him” instead of “her.”

I think I shall refer to Mary Magdalene as “the disciple whom Jesus loved.”  Those who know the secret of their romance will understand my meaning.

Below, in the left column I have quoted from Mary's letter, in blue.  In the right column is the disguised version I am proposing for my book, in red.  I would welcome your comments.


Feed My Lambs

When we had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Feed my lambs.”  Then he arose and said to him, “Follow me!” and to the others, “We shall return shortly.”  The two of them started up the hill, with me tagging along.

Peter turned and saw that I was following them.  He asked, “Lord, what about that woman?”

Jesus answered, “If I want her to stay with me until I return, what is that to you?  It's none of your business.  You must follow me.”

When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Feed my lambs.”  Then he said to him, “Follow me!”

Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them.  When Peter saw him, he asked, “Lord, what about him?”

Jesus answered, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you?  You must follow me.”  [21:15,19-22]


The Last Supper

After he had said this, Jesus suddenly frowned and said, “I have some sad news to tell you, but it's the truth.  One of you is going to betray me.”  We all stared at one another, at a loss to know which of us he meant.

I was reclining between Simon Peter and Jesus.  Peter beckoned to me and whispered, “Ask him which one he means.”

I leaned close to Jesus and whispered, “Lord, who is it?”  He answered, “It's the one to whom I will give this piece of bread after I've dipped it in the dish.”

And he gave it to Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot.  Taken aback, Judas knocked over the salt.  Jesus told him, “I know what you intend to do.  Do it quickly!”  But I was the only one who understood what that meant.

After he had said this, Jesus was troubled in spirit and testified, “Very truly I tell you, one of you is going to betray me.”  His disciples stared at one another, at a loss to know which of them he meant.

One of them, the disciple whom Jesus loved, was reclining next to him.  Simon Peter motioned to this disciple and said, “Ask him which one he means.”

Leaning back against Jesus, he asked him, “Lord, who is it?”  Jesus answered, “It is the one to whom I will give this piece of bread when I have dipped it in the dish.”

Then, dipping the piece of bread, he gave it to Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot.  As soon as Judas took the bread, Satan entered into him.

So Jesus told him, “What you are about to do, do quickly.”  But no one at the meal understood why Jesus said this to him.  [13:21-28]


The Trial Begins

Simon Peter and I followed along when they brought Jesus to the high priest's house.  I was known there, so I could go into the courtyard.  Peter waited outside at the door until I came back and spoke to the servant girl on duty.  She questioned him, “You aren't one of this man's disciples too, are you?”  Peter denied it, and she let him in.

Simon Peter and another disciple were following Jesus.  Because this disciple was known to the high priest, he went with Jesus into the high priest's courtyard, but Peter had to wait outside at the door.  The other disciple, who was known to the high priest, came back, spoke to the servant girl on duty there and brought Peter in.  “You aren't one of this man's disciples too, are you?” she asked Peter.  He replied, "I am not."  [18:15-17]~


Here Is Your Mother

Jesus was hanging on the cross, but I couldn't simply abandon him there.  I, Mary Magdalene, was in love with him!

Two other women also named Mary were standing nearby; one was Jesus's mother, with her sister beside her, and the other was the wife of Clopas.

Jesus looked down to me, and our eyes met.  To his mother, he called out, “Woman, this is your daughter now.”  And to me, he said, “That's your mother.”  From that time on, I treated Mary of Nazareth as my mother-in-law, and I took her into my home.

Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother's sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene.  

When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, “Woman, here is your son,” and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.”  From that time on, this disciple took her into his home.  [19:25-27]~

 


An Empty Tomb

Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, I went to pray at the tomb and was shocked to see that the stone had been removed from the entrance.  So I ran and went to Simon Peter.  I said, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and I don't know where they have laid him.”

So Peter and I ran back to the garden.  I was faster and reached the tomb first.  Bending over, I looked in and saw strips of linen lying there, but I didn't dare go inside.

However, when Peter arrived he went straight into the tomb.  He found not only the strips of linen but also the cloth that had been wrapped around Jesus' head, still lying in its place, separate from the linen.

Finally I also went inside and saw that the tomb was empty, except for the two piles of white fabric, one at the head and the other at the foot.

Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance.  So she ran and went to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one whom Jesus loved, and said to them, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we do not know where they have laid him.”

So Peter and the other disciple started for the tomb.  Both were running, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first.  He bent over and looked in at the strips of linen lying there but did not go in.

Then Simon Peter came along behind him and went straight into the tomb.  He saw the strips of linen lying there, as well as the cloth that had been wrapped around Jesus' head. The cloth was still lying in its place, separate from the linen.

Finally the other disciple, who had reached the tomb first, also went inside.  He saw and believed.  [20:1-8]~


The Man in the Garden

Then Peter went back to where the other disciples were staying, but I couldn't bear to leave the tomb.  I stood outside crying.  As I wept, I bent over to look again into the tomb.

Through my tears, I imagined the cloth and the linen to be two angels in white, seated where Jesus' body had been, one at the head and the other at the foot.


I thought I heard them asking me, “Woman, why are you crying?”  “They have taken my Lord away,” I moaned in reply, “and I don't know where they have put him.”

Then I turned around.  Standing there with his hoe was the gardener who had helped us with the burial.  It must have been his voice I had heard.  “Who are you looking for?” he asked.  I said, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him.”  Trying to comfort me, he said, “Mary, Mary!” 

How did he know my name?  This man had to be Jesus!

I cried out in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (which means “Teacher”). 

I tried to throw my arms around him, but he said, “Don't hug me!  Go back to your friends.  You can tell them that your Jesus is not a dead body in a tomb.  He is ascending to his Father and your Father, to his God and your God.”

And then he was gone.  I went to the other disciples with the news: “I have seen the Lord!”  I told them what I had heard him say.  The news began to spread.  Indeed, many people including you, brother John, now believe it!

Then the disciples went back to where they were staying.  Now Mary stood outside the tomb crying.

As she wept, she bent over to look into the tomb and saw two angels in white, seated where Jesus' body had been, one at the head and the other at the foot.

They asked her, “Woman, why are you crying?"  “They have taken my Lord away," she said, “and I don't know where they have put him."

At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus.  He asked her, “Woman, why are you crying?  Who is it you are looking for?"

Thinking he was the gardener, she said, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him."  Jesus said to her, “Mary."

She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, “Rabboni!" (which means “Teacher").

Jesus said, “Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father.  Go instead to my brothers and tell them, ‘I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.’”

Mary Magdalene went to the disciples with the news: “I have seen the Lord!”  And she told them that he had said these things to her.  [20:10-18]~


So what do you think?  Will our Christian brothers object if I tell about, but do not identify, an obviously important disciple?  I fear they will say, “That John is so conceited!  He avoids giving this disciple's name.  Clearly, he must mean himself.”

And if I describe that disciple as the one Jesus loved, they will ask, “Are we really to believe that Jesus loved only John but not the other disciples?”

They won't understand what kind of love I mean.

 

 

Click here for other Bible stories I've retold in the first person.

TBT

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