Here's another thrilling episode in the continuing series of "What's Wrong with the High School from Which We Graduated?"
Consider the Richwood/North Union band. It's generally agreed that this organization has been in a state of decadence ever since Mr. Shoemaker left at the end of our freshman year. Frankly, no one seems to care much any more. There are a number of people who wish that the North Union band were better, but no one is fired up enough to do anything about it, and there's some question whether very much could be done, anyway. Apathy.
Now, Oberlin College has never even had a marching band. This is not because a band would detract from the educational purposes of the college, but rather because most of the highbrow musicians in the Conservatory up here aren't interested in that sort of meaningless marching around on Saturday afternoons playing non-classical music.
This wasn't too bad; their big mistake was in deciding to perform on the field at halftime.
Of course, they had to follow the visiting Lake Forest band, an excellent 64-piece all-brass outfit with flashy uniforms. Lake Forest put on a fine ten-minute show, except for a rather corny ending: marching backwards slowly off the north end of the field playing "Exodus."
Then it was time for Our Band! Out they came from the south end of the field, all sixteen of them, attired in dark slacks and crimson blazers, marching all the way to the 50-yard line to the cadence of the snare drum. They made a very sloppy left turn and came down the 50 towards the home stands, stopping at the hash mark.
the previous years edition of the band made no attempt to wear slacks-and-blazers
"uniforms." In the picture below from the 1965
yearbook, the musicians are lining up in the south end zone before
turning right and marching onto the field. The roof in the
background is Burton Hall, my freshman dorm.]
Meanwhile, since Lake Forest's show had been so long, the teams were about ready to go again. The referee blew his whistle at Our Band, but Our Band kept playing; they weren't done yet. Lake Forest's team went out onto the field and lined up to receive the kickoff; Our Band kept playing. On the other side of them, Oberlin lined up to kick off; Our Band kept playing. The head linesman stood with his hands on his hips and stared at the sight: sixteen musicians rooted to the 50-yard line, surrounded by football players, continuing their concert bravely despite the gathering storm clouds. The referee seemed to be wondering, "What sort of a silly conglomeration is this, anyhow?"
I have a feeling that if Our Band had been bigger, the officials would have left them alone. But what are sixteen against a College Football Game? The referee tried to shoo this inept little crew off the field like so many stray dogs. No one in the band knew what to do, but one girl in the front row eventually stepped forward timidly, and then the whole band walked off the field. They managed to come off in formation, thoughmore or lessand they were still playing.
Now, then. North Union's band isn't so hot, right? And it seems doomed to perpetual mediocrity, right? After all, not too many more Shoemakers are going to find their way to the little village of Richwood, and without a strong director the band's going nowhere.
Assuming this, those North Unionians connected with the band are going to be continually frustrated, and the fans are going to be subjected to a series of blah halftime shows. Therefore, it would be better to avoid the frustration and the blah, right? It would be better to quit trying, right? Right?
A little rinky-dink band like Oberlin's wouldn't require much effort. It wouldn't be expected to be good, so no one would be frustrated by the fact that it was terrible.
And, most important, it would give the fans a good laugh. Ha-ha is more to be desired than ho-hum, runs the old Chinese proverb.
Then North Union would have something to be proud of! We can never boast of the best band in Central Ohio, but we can have the worst one! All it takes is a little less effort.