T. Buckingham Thomas Archive 2024 September

Archive SEPTEMBER 2024

One year ago today, it was Homecoming Weekend at Oberlin College. I was there as part of the Cluster Reunion of my alma mater's Classes of 1967, 1968, and 1969, celebrating 55 years since our graduation.

Stopping by the current home of my old radio station, I took pictures like the ones below. I described that day in this earlier article.

But the college's professional photographers saw much more of the weekend celebration. I've included some of their photos on our Cluster Reunion website, on a page called Scrapbook.

This frozen breakfast product comes in a box more than six inches square. It would be entirely practical to print the microwave instructions in readable 11-point type (four millimeters tall).

But no, they've used fine print. The skinny letters of the Spanish version are only one millimeter tall.

My morning eyes are bleary. Anyone have a microscope?

While watching TV dramas, I can get distracted and obsessed by minor plot points.

In an episode of Law & Order: SVU, a 13-year-old girl is discovered to be pregnant. People suspect the father might be her teacher, but he insists that's impossible. He offers to give blood and DNA samples to prove his innocence.

Suppose he does so. To what are those samples to be compared? The blood and DNA of the baby, right? But it's still in utero. Are we going to drill a hole into the girl's womb to extract tissue samples from the fetus? No one suggests that. It would be safer to wait until after the baby is actually born. But that would require a delay of many months. Be sure to join us next season for the results of those tests.

However, the TV story needs a resolution within the hour. Before long, the teacher is murdered by being hit on the head with a trophy.

Later, an oblong box containing the alleged murder weapon is brought into court. From watching Perry Mason 70 years ago, I learned that the proper procedure is to formally introduce the trophy into evidence, tag it as Exhibit A, and set it aside.

But in the show I'm watching, the prosecutor has the box on his table. He dramatically opens it and holds up an object loosely wrapped in transparent plastic. Because of the reflections on the plastic, we can't easily identify what's inside. It might be the murder weapon, or it might be a different trophy, or it might be a bowling pin or a loaf of bread.

A police officer is on the witness stand. The prosector asks her, “Is this the murder weapon?” “Yes,” she replies.

On Perry Mason, the investigating officer would be asked to testify whether an exhibit was indeed the item in question. Lieutenant Tragg would examine it closely and say “Yes, this has my mark on it.”

Today, though, we have no time for such careful fact-checking. Grumble.

“Stonekettle” Jim Wright's first job in the 1970s happened to be at a buffet restaurant called a smörgåsbord. That's a Swedish word, and the restaurant was called The Sveden House.

There was a Sveden House franchise in Marion, in the strip mall now known as Eastland Towne Center. My parents and I dined there a few times. You could go back to the buffet as many times as you wanted, because the slogan was “all you care to eat.”

Stoneketttle posted an ad that he'd saved. Note the prices. A 99-cent luncheon? That's not surprising; back then, gasoline was 36 cents a gallon.

If my co-workers and I went to lunch at a regular restaurant that had waitresses, I usually left a quarter on the table as a tip.

When my generation gripes about inflation, these are the prices we remember. In 1972 the Consumer Price Index was less than one-seventh what it is today. But when present-day politicians discuss inflation, they're complaining about relatively minor short-term increases.

Jim Sylvester remarks, “You may want to catch up on the extent to which prices are set by corporations and other companies — and not the government.” Although a “Right for America” commercial claims that Vice President Harris has “tripled the price of gas” (all by herself?), a gallon of gasoline actually got 12% cheaper over the past year. Other prices did go up, but the average climbed only 2.5% in the twelve months ending in August 2024. That dropped inflation to the lowest level in more than three years. Yesterday, the Federal Reserve — confident that inflation is coming back down — cut interest rates by half a percentage point.

Dean Baker writes, “Serious newspapers could run regular stories with headlines like ‘public badly confused on inflation’ or ‘inflation far lower than Reagan-era rates.’ And they could run these headlines every day, since they would still be news to many readers.”

The Richwood Gazette in my former Ohio hometown regularly boasts of victories by the robotics teams from the local North Union High School. I assumed this was fun and games, comparable to winning a volleyball tournament. But it can mean more.

When I was in high school 60 years ago, not all the courses were in academic subjects like history or algebra. There were practical options to prepare students for careers, like Shop and Typing and Bookkeeping and Home Economics and Vo-Ag (vocational agriculture). Nowadays, I learn, there's at least one other vocational course that didn't exist in my day: Engineering. According to a Gazette article by Kyle Meddles, the engineering program had only a dozen students six years ago, but now it's up to 80, due largely by the arrival of new FANUC arm robots.

FANUC, pronounced fan-uck, stands for Fuji Automatic Numeric Controls. The instructor, Jesse Miller, says that the FANUC arms cost about $50,000 apiece, but with the help of a $400,000 grant the school was able to obtain five of them. They have different tools that can go on the end of the arm, including a gripper, paint sprayer, welder, and screw gun.

“We are really impressing this upon our kids: It is unique to be at North Union right now and have access to these,” he told the Board of Education. “There is nobody else out there that does. One of the biggest deals is if it's FANUC, there are FANUC credentials recognized by the state.”

For example, a Handling Tool Operation and Programming course (HTOP) normally costs $2,226. “Once I get completely certified,” said Mr. Miller, “every student will get that for free,” as well as FANUC CNC machine and IR vision certification. Another course, Fusion 360, costs a bit of money, but “at the end of the day they're going to have four highly valuable industry-recognized credentials.”

In this front-page picture, student Montana Donahue holds up her Fusion 360 certificate while Weston Drumm demonstrates his assembly line program on the FANUC arm robot.

Mr. Miller said he has had students who go to college and have a leg up on other students. “If you start college successful, you're going to be way more likely to stick with engineering.”

The Canadian military has invaded the United States? Apparently it's our northern border we need to worry about!

At least that's what I first imagined when these scary sentences appeared on news sites last weekend:

• The USMNT endured its first home loss to Canada in 67 years yesterday.

• The USMNT lost to Canada on American soil for the first time since 1957.

But no, USMNT does not stand for United States Marine Corps. I suppose if I followed international “football,” I would have known that.

The neighbor’s doggie was named Augie. He was familiar with the old song, a novelty record from 1953 in ¾ time. At a pet shop Patti Page sings:

One day, I heard the neighbor sing the first line of the refrain, “How much is that doggie in the window?”

Augie watched intently for his cue. He knew his part well. Right in tempo, he chimed in, “Arf, arf.”

I was impressed by this duet. They proved it wasn’t a fluke by repeating it more than once.

SEPTEMBER 7, 2024
THE SYSTEM

I don't gamble, but a lot of folks do, especially now that online apps have made wagering incredibly easy. What are the odds that those gamblers will actually win more money than they lose?

Fifty NFL seasons ago, a fictional newscaster realized that point spreads aren't purely scientific predictions. They're partly influenced by emotion.

What does this suggest? Well, if a team is a double-digit underdog, you ought to bet on them. Yes, they'll probably lose the game, but there's a fair chance they'll beat the spread because they're not as outclassed as the fans perceive them to be.

Does this method work? In this month's 100 Moons article, I analyze the statistics.

“You claim that people evolved from apes, millions of years ago,” says the creationist. “But if the monkeys turned into humans, why are there still monkeys? Huh? Answer that one. You don’t have an answer, do you?”

“No, but I have another question. If our family is descended from Scottish people who emigrated from Scotland to the New World two centuries ago, why are there still Scotsmen today? Huh? You see, some Scots became Americans, but not all of them.

“Some apes developed into humans, but not all of them. Look up 'cladogenesis' in your biology textbook. It's simple.”

Speaking of genesis, there’s a young-earth creationist group called “Answers in Genesis” that denies the facts of evolution. They operate the Creation Museum in Kentucky and ~~are trying to finance~~ a replica of Noah’s Ark nearby. AIG demands that all employees abide by their statement of faith, which among other things requires that employees believe:

Clearly, not only have the people at “Answers in Genesis” not read their biology textbook. The people at “Answers in Genesis” have not even read Genesis! At least they haven’t read it beyond the story of Noah’s flood.

Scripture clearly does not delineate God’s insistence on a single, exclusive union.

Therefore, “Answers in Genesis,” has God commanded his people to restrict their sexual activity according to the standards of 18th-century America? The way you’d prefer?

All cheerleaders know that if you want a score, all you have to do is raise your arms to give the appropriate signal and your prayers will be answered.

It works every time, because Cheerleading Affects the Outcome.

Brother Billy learned that when he interviewed the Biblical character Hur. I've even found a few pictures of Hur's experience.