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AUGUST
29, 2013
WHAT'S
A DICTIONARY FOR?
English
teachers heads literally exploded this month when dictionaries
admitted that literally
can also mean not
literally.
Webster,
Macmillan, and the Cambridge Dictionary have all added a second
definition for literally.
Even Google has two options:
1.In
a literal manner or sense; exactly.
2.Used
to acknowledge that something is not literally true but is
used for emphasis or to express strong feeling.
Websters
authors commented, Since some people take sense 2 to be the
opposition of sense 1, it has been frequently criticized as a
misuse. Instead, the use is pure hyperbole intended to gain emphasis.
Those
who deplore this development may not understand one fact about
modern dictionaries. They are descriptive, not prescriptive.
The
website English
Plus+ explains, in part, Many times discussions or
arguments about correct usage in English are settled by looking
things up in a dictionary. But thats not really the
purpose of such a book. When I was young, the
article continues, most of us had been corrected by teachers,
if not parents, not to use the word ain't.
My teachers had told me there was no such word. Imagine my
surprise when, just for fun, I looked up the word, and there it
was. It was in the dictionary.
Dictionaries
are very helpful tools for finding the meaning of words, and even
spelling in most cases. However, for more information on using
words in a standard manner, use a grammar text or reference.
In
other words, grammar books are prescriptive. They
prescribe the official rules. Dictionaries, however, are descriptive.
They describe the living language. They illustrate how words
are actually used by real people, whether or not those usages conform
to the rules.
I
don't get objections to twerk
and selfie
being added to the dictionary, writer Eric D. Snider tweeted
yesterday. It's not like they had to kick other words out
to make room. All words were new at some point. Many
eventually fall into disuse. Acknowledging their existence in
dictionaries doesn't ruin the language.
Why
should dictionaries include nonstandard or incorrect
usages? Imagine someone to whom English is a second
language. He encounters the nonstandard sentence,
Doris
aint
missing; her troubles literally
broke her heart.
He
wants to know what it means, but hes not familiar with a
couple of the words, so he looks them up. If his dictionary
says aint
doesnt exist and theres no second meaning of literally,
he has to assume the sentence means,
Doriss
missing; her troubles actually broke her heart.
So
she must have crawled off somewhere and died from a fractured left ventricle.
AUGUST
27, 2023
CIVIC DISENGAGEMENT
A
few years ago, an author appeared on a panel discussion to promote
her book deploring a decline in Civics instruction for
youngsters. The host misunderstood her to be warning of a
decline not in Civics but in civility.
The other panelists agreed that rudeness was rampant and we must try
to be more civil towards each other, and even the author had to join
in that conversation.
Civics,
of course, means the study of how government works and of the rights
and duties of citizens. It's a vital part of democracy,
empowering each of us with the knowledge to change the world around us.
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Tomorrow
will mark the 60th anniversary of the I Have a Dream
speech during the 1963 March on Washington for civil rights.
Little more than a year later, high school Civics teacher Frank
Zirbel listened to a report from my classmate Kelly Drake while Carl
Martin, Dave Bickley, and Dan Rush took notes.
Nowadays,
however, the National Assessment of Educational Progress reports
that 12 states no longer require high school graduates to have passed
a Civics course. Nearly one-third of eighth grade students
can't describe the structure or function of government.
Many
conservatives don't want kids to learn that the nation isn't perfect
in particular, that some races and ethnicities and genders
have been excluded from a full participation in American life. |
AUGUST
24, 2023
WATCH OUT!
This
Saturday night during the Coke Zero Sugar 400, NASCAR drivers will
be racing out of the tri-oval and glancing to their left to see
whether other cars are exiting the pit road. They may notice a
huge UH-OH painted on the asphalt. Is it a warning of an
impending collision? Not at all. It's an ad. I
explain in Uh-Oh!
Diesels! |
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AUGUST
21, 2023
SCHLEMIEL, SCHLIMAZEL |
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In
the TV listings, I noticed the title of a talk-show series on the E! channel:
If
We're Being Honest With Laverne Cox.
I
assume that the complete version of the title must be something like
If We're Being Honest With Laverne Cox While At The Same Time
We're Lying To Shirley Feeney, There's Gonna Be Trouble. |
AUGUST
19, 2023
THE BIG CARET
Sports
pundits are desperately trying to make sense of ongoing
major-college realignments. The most egregious might be the Big
Ten. With its recent West Coast additions, the conference will
include eighteen universities by 2025. The Oregon Ducks'
travel plans, for example, will look like this.
Conferences
are expanding to get more lucrative TV contracts for football.
Playing only once a week, a football team should be able to afford
several five-hour charter flights across the country. And,
writes George Will with a bit of sarcasm, More transcontinental
flights mean more uninterrupted time for the student-athletes to read
Proust and organic chemistry. |
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But
consider the non-revenue sports. Can the Oregon
golf teams, men's and women's, book multiple commercial round-trip
flights to the Eastern and Central time zones, perhaps laying over in
Chicago and missing lots of classes? How about the tennis
teams? Track and field? Cross country?
I
can think of a couple of ideas. One solution might be for
those eight squads to pool their meager funds and charter an airplane
plus some New Jersey buses. The whole group could visit Penn
State on Friday, Maryland on Saturday, and Rutgers on Sunday.
Then on a later weekend, the Eastern athletes could board a westbound
charter flight for a similar festival in Eugene.
A
simpler solution would be to formulate comprehensive conference
schedules for only football (and basketball). The others, the
so-called Olympic sports, would be allowed to compete in
smaller regions, the way college sports used to be.
Divisions could be called West, Midwest, Central, and East. Each
could ignore the rest of the far-flung Big 18 until a championship
tournament for the four division winners.
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If
the dividing lines trisected the existing Big Ten like this big blue
caret, the typical non-revenue team would have only three division
rivals and play them home-and-home every year. That six-game
schedule could be filled out with other nearby opponents.
(Exception:
each East Division team, with five division rivals, would
schedule only one of them home-and-home.)
Something
like one of these solutions must prevail! |
AUGUST
17, 2023
NOT ENOUGH PROGRESS
Last
week, the Pew Research Center released a report
on the state of racial equality in the 60 years since Dr. Martin
Luther King's I Have a Dream speech.
More
than three-quarters of Democrats (78%) say that efforts toward equal
rights in America have not yet gone far enough.
However,
less than one-quarter of Republicans agree (24%). And they're
outnumbered by the 37% of Republicans who say equality efforts have gone too
far and we're now excessively equal.
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Some
35 years ago in Ohio, I observed one small instance of biased
treatment. It's the subject of this month's 100 Moons article. |
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AUGUST
14, 2023
FLATNESS,
FIRE, LEECHES, ETC.
Back
in 1985, literally half a lifetime ago, I got to spend two weeks in
Hawaii working on a corporate TV production.
We
stayed at the Maui Marriott Resort on Kaanapali Beach, a couple of
miles north of Lahaina.
I
had some time off one day and decided to play tourist for the
afternoon. I took the Sugar Cane Train into town, where the
giant banyan tree dropped a tiny fruit at my feet. I browsed up
and down Front Street. |
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In
a bookstore I noticed the Dover paperback edition of a certain
famous math fantasy from a century before. In it, Edwin A.
Abbott describes the journeys of A. Square, a
mathematician in a flat land where there are only two
dimensions. I bought the book for $1.75 and read most of it
that night. It's still in my bookcase, though I haven't opened
it for decades.
Now,
of course, Front Street has been flattened by fire, along with
almost everything else in Lahaina.
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Back
in Pennsylvania, last Saturday morning at 10:23 AM, another disaster
on a smaller scale took place just seven miles south of me.
Four
adults and an 11-year-old were killed when a house exploded.
The
moment was captured
by a neighbor's Ring doorbell camera. |
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The
homes on either side burned down and a dozen or so had windows blown
out; some will have to be demolished. In addition to the five
deaths, three other people were hospitalized and 57 firefighters were
treated on scene for minor issues.
It
was the third such explosion in Plum Borough in the last 15 years
and the fourth since 1996. All were presumably caused by
leaking natural gas, but the investigation into this one could last
months, if not years.
I've
been to Plum and worked on telecasts at Plum High School. But
I've never driven down Rustic Ridge Drive, so I checked online maps
to determine where the explosion took place.
I
discovered that the high school is not far from the scene.
It's adjacent to a small unincorporated crossroads with about ten
houses and the name of the crossroads is Leechburg.
Really? I always thought Leechburg was seven miles east
of me.
Further
investigation reveals that there are two Leechburgs in my neck of
the woods. This sort of duplication is not
unheard of.
And,
as if local geography needed even more confusion, between the two
burgs there are multiple Leechburg Roads (in blue).
There
must have been a whole family of Leeches who settled this area a
couple of centuries ago.
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AUGUST
11, 2023
NOT FOUNDED AS A HATING NATION
If
the Bible be true, wrote Robert Green Ingersoll, the
supreme and infinite God was once a savage. Read the
thirty-first chapter of Numbers, and you will find that he commanded
his chosen people to destroy other men for defending their native
land and to pierce, with the sword of war, the unborn child.
The maidens were given to the soldiers and the priests. It is
impossible to conceive of a more thoroughly despicable, hateful, and
arrogant being.
From
my childhood, I had heard and read the Bible. I had no love
for God that God who made heaven for the few, hell for the
many, and who will gloat forever upon the writhings of the
damned. A God who threatens eternal pain should be hated, not loved.

One
hundred ninety years ago today, Ingersoll was born in Dresden, New
York. I've visited his birthplace.
The truth is, he wrote at the age of 40:
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Our
government
is not founded
upon the rights of gods,
but upon the rights of men.
Our
Constitution was framed,
not to declare and uphold
the deity of Christ,
but the sacredness of humanity.
Ours
is the first government made
by the people and for the people.
It is the only nation with which
the gods have had nothing to do.
And
yet there are some judges
dishonest and cowardly enough
to solemnly decide
that this is a Christian country,
and that our free institutions are based
upon the infamous laws of Jehovah.
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Remember
our third President, Thomas Jefferson? In the August/September
2023 issue of Free Inquiry, Robyn E. Blumer recalls that he
directed that his tombstone note only three accomplishments,
[including] the first nondenominational institution of higher learning.
Jefferson
was deeply skeptical of religion, knew well of its pernicious
history of persecution, and was disgusted by the pain it inflicted on society.
He
wrote in an 1816 letter: |
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On
the dogmas of religion as distinguished from moral principles, all
mankind, from the beginning of the world to this day, have been
quarreling, fighting, burning and torturing one another, for
abstractions unintelligible to themselves and to all others, and
absolutely beyond the comprehension of the human mind.
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Ms.
Blumer concludes, For those Christian nationalists who now
claim that America was founded as a Christian nation, Thomas
Jefferson and the Founders like him stand as impregnable rebuttal.
AUGUST
9, 2023
ON THE GRIDDLE
Tomorrow,
while football players are strapping on the pads, Catholics will be
observing the feast day of St. Lawrence.
The
saint is often pictured with a gridiron, the rectangular
metal rack for roasting large slabs of meat. It's tinted here
in blue. According to the story, it was in the year 258 that
Lawrence met his martyrdom, bound to that craticule and laid over a
fire to be roasted to death. There's even an antiphon
about it. On the gridiron I did not deny you, oh
God. And when they put me in the fire I recognized you as the
Lord, oh Christ. You tried me with fire and found no wickedness
in me. |
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More
than 1700 years later, when North American football was developed,
the field was divided into five-yard squares resembling a giant
gridiron. This early view shows Syracuse
University's Archbold Stadium.
An
offensive team tried to advance the ball from one square to another
nearer the goal. When a tackle was made in a certain square,
the ball would be spotted within that square for the next play. |
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In
this diagram from 1904, the smaller boxes (only five feet
wide, not five yards) would have centers only 30 inches from the
sideline, too close to out of bounds to run a proper
play. Therefore, the ball would not be spotted there but in the
middle of the adjacent square (X), an acceptable 20 feet from the
sideline. Later, hash marks would serve a similar purpose. |
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By
1920, it became apparent that the stripes parallel to the goal line
were important but the stripes parallel to the sideline were less
meaningful, so those cross stripes were eliminated (except for one
pair reduced to those vestigial hash marks). Now the field
resembled this simpler version of a gridiron. |
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When
I was a student manager at Richwood High School, every August I'd
help create a gridiron at Memorial Stadium.
First
I'd rake the newly-cut grass off the sideline.
Then
I'd go to the southwest corner of the field, get a three-wheeled
lime spreader out of the equipment shed (arrow), and fill it with
white powder.
Starting
from the flag socket at the back corner of that end zone, the
coaches would stretch a string 360 feet to the corresponding socket
at the eastern end zone.
It
was my job to wheel the lime spreader over the string, trying not to
wobble too much. Then we'd do the opposite sideline. |
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Following
that, the coaches would use a measuring tape on each sideline,
holding the ends of the string every 15 feet. I'd mark one yard
line, turn 90°, walk five yards as they moved the string, turn
another 90°, and follow the next yard line. I'd need to
retrace my steps every few weeks during the season. |

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Big-time
football couldn't leave well enough alone, of course. Other
markings were added: numbers, arrows, single-yard tick marks,
extra-point lines, kickoff tee locators, sideline team boxes, team
logos, sponsor logos.
None
of that appeared at Richwood High School except hash marks and
extra-point lines. (Having consulted an NFL diagram, we once
marked the latter at the two-yard line, forcing the referee to pace
off an extra yard.) The bleachers were only a dozen rows high,
so the fans wouldn't be high enough to read all the numbers
anyway. Also, we were conserving lime. And I was not
required to add a portrait of Saint Larry to our version of his gridiron. |
On
the other hand, in 2023 I can't resist Photoshopping the martyred
saint onto a view of the new field at a Division III school in New
York State. SUNY Morrisville's team colors are green and black,
but green uniforms on a green field don't stand out. Therefore,
despite global warming, they've chosen black artificial turf!

Grayson
Weir writes that this griddle is going to make the players'
lives absolute hell during the summer and into the fall. It
will feel like the surface of the sun. That would be borderline
torturous, no?!
AUGUST
6, 2023
PICK A LANE
All
right, Johnny. You wanted to know about the choose
rule, right?
Well,
as you know, when there's a spinout or a wreck in a NASCAR race they
drop a yellow flag to declare a caution period. All
the cars slow down and continue circling the track in single file
until the debris can be cleared.
Then,
one lap before the race is going to be restarted, they need to
recreate the double-file starting formation.
There's
an orange choose symbol painted on the track to
represent a virtual traffic cone. As each driver approaches it,
one at a time, he decides to swerve either left or right depending on
which of the two lanes he wants to be in for the restart.
That's
important because once the green flag drops, it will be difficult to
switch lanes; everyone will be staying as close as possible to the
car in front. |

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I'm
far from being a racecar driver, but I too like to avoid changing
lanes when traffic is heavy. When I get a chance, I choose the
lane that I'll want to be in later.
Soon
after I leave home, there's a place where one lane divides into
two. The street will continue to have two lanes of slow-moving
traffic until I arrive at my destination. I usually keep to the
right, but I if I'm planning to turn left into the shopping center a
mile away, I get in the left lane. That way I won't have to
force my way into that lane later, cutting off other drivers who
might be less than courteous.
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Near
the turnpike, there's a section of highway where there are three
lanes. I usually move into the middle one when I can.
Thus I don't impede the progress of anyone who will be using the
right-lane-must-exit ramp 2.7 miles later. And I stay out of
the way of the scofflaw speeders coming up behind me, who can
continue breaking the speed limit by passing me on the left.
I'm always thinking, trying to minimize difficulties! |
AUGUST
4, 2023
BAKED BABY
I
don't remember the day clearly, because I was only five months
old. But it might have been on this date 76 years ago that,
according to my mother, I turned red from the heat.
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My
mother and father regularly traveled to western Kentucky, staying
with his parents in their home on Main Street in Livermore. All
the relatives would have been eager to see the new addition to the family.
Records
show that on August 4, 1947, temperatures hit triple figures
including 100° in Owensboro and 106° in Paducah. On
August 5, the Owensboro Messenger-Inquirer reported a high of 103°. |
Recalling
the house from subsequent visits when I was a little older, I think
that like this one, it was covered in dark heat-absorbing faux-brick
asphalt shingles.
I
must have been very uncomfortable, breaking out in a heat rash like
this baby. Later, my mother remembered anxiously carrying me
out onto the porch, searching for a little breeze. That must
have been when I vowed: never again! Give me air conditioning!
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AUGUST
2, 2023
WE WANT THAT SECRET INSIDER KNOWLEDGE
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Why
are conspiracy theories so widespread these days? They're
driven by the fear that they, the devils, are planning to
grab more power and destroy us, the righteous.
Two
editors at The Atlantic note that the theories offer simple
explanations whether or not they're true. |
Stories
help explain the hard-to-understand, if not the unexplainable,
writes Kelli María Korducki. According to Ellen Cushing,
Conspiracy thinking is incredibly compelling. It
promises an answer to problems as small as expired light bulbs and as
big as our radical aloneness in the universe.
The
intoxicating feeling of having insider knowledge about the fate of
the world or at least believing you do is self-sealing
in its logic and self-soothing in its effect.
We
want to have faith in that soothing worldview. Conspiracy
thinking, Cushing says, posits a world where morality is plain,
where every person has agency, and where every piece of information
has divine meaning and nothing happens by accident. |
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