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SEPT.
28, 2018 STOP
SELLING SCAM SOLUTIONS!
The
Center for Inquiry sued the giant drug retailer CVS this summer,
alleging consumer fraud for its marketing of useless medicines.
Harriet
Hall reveals
the manufacturing process: The liver is long gone but the
quack is still evident. Remedies must be vigorously
shaken (not stirred). |
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What's
she describing? James Bond's snake oil? No, the same
fake cures I wrote about in this month's 100 Moons Article, from ten
years ago. |
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On
the other hand, taking an ineffective pill can actually make us feel
better if we think it can. If we have faith. How
can that be? Well, 179 months ago I suggested
a possible mechanism.
SEPT.
25, 2008 EIGHT
DAYS A WEEK
I've
started to schedule events for 2009. That means it's time to
invest in a new pocket calendar to keep track of them, lest I
accidentally "double-book" myself by promising to show up
to televise sporting events at two different venues on the same date.
Many
people switched to electronic Personal Digital Assistants years ago,
but I still prefer to jot down my appointments on actual paper.
For the past couple of decades, I've used the preprinted 70-035
weekly pocket planner from At-A-Glance®.
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I
have only one small quibble with the 70-035. Like most weekly
planners, it divides the left and right pages into a total of only
six equal boxes, as shown here in blue. However, people are
nearly unanimous in their opinion that a week consists not of six
days but of seven. Therefore, not every day gets its own
box. The weekend days of Saturday and Sunday have to share.
That's
fine for most folks, whose appointments tend to fall into the normal Monday-to-Friday
workweek. But, of course, I'm not most folks. The
heaviest-booked single day of my week is Saturday, and this
format allots less than half as much empty space to Saturday as to a weekday.
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I've
seen a few QuickNotes® planners divided into eight equal
boxes: Mon-Tue-Wed-Thu on the left page and Blank-Fri-Sat-Sun
on the right. That would work better for me, if I could find a
wirebound unruled three-by-five-inch model.
Even
more flexible would be the layout I've shown here in green. I
could choose to enter my Sunday appointments either in the upper left
box (Sunday has been "the first day of the week" since
Biblical times) or in the lower right box (nowadays the first day of
the commercial week is Monday). The box not used for Sunday
would remain available for general notations, or even extra details
about Saturday. |
For
now, however, I'll continue squeezing my Saturday notes into a
little half-box or borrowing some space from Friday. It's
really an inconsequential complaint.
SEPT.
24, 2018 ANOTHER
DISAPPOINTING CAMPAIGN
Well,
the Pittsburgh Pirates have done it again. For the third year
in a row, they've failed to make the Major League Baseball playoffs,
and for the third year in a row, their attendance has dropped.
The
Pirates closed out their home season yesterday (except for a makeup
game scheduled for October 1). Through 80 home games, the total
attendance has been 1,465,316. The final number will be the
lowest in PNC Park's 18-year history, more than a million less than
the record 2,498,596 who came through the turnstiles in 2015.
I've
plotted the game-by-game numbers, which were very irregular.
PNC
Park seats 38,362 (blue line). There were no sellouts, and
only four times did the ballpark exceed 79% of capacity: the
return of popular former Pirate Andrew McCutchen on May 11, plus
three straight Saturday dates beginning July 28. |
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On-field
success helps. The Pirates didn't have a winning record
between June 6 and the All-Star break, but coming into that July 28
game they had been over .500 for a week and had managed to reach
54-51. On that summer night, with the help of an Italian Fest
promotion, 94% of the seats were filled. The 35,900 fans
watched the Bucs shut out the Mets and stayed for a post-game
fireworks show.
The
weather also makes a big difference. In chilly April
the average attendance had been only 11,905 (not counting the two
games that opened the season), and September's average turned out to
be 15,070. Seven times during those months, the turnstile count
failed to reach five figures.
And
the opponent matters, too. Let's consider only the 38
home dates during the warm months of June, July, and August, when the
visiting teams were evenly divided between five nearby National
League rivals and five more distant opponents. Against the
first group, average attendance was 58% greater.
METS |
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DIAMONDBACKS |
CARDINALS |
~ |
NATIONALS |
REDS |
~ |
BREWERS |
PHILLIES |
~ |
DODGERS |
CUBS |
~ |
BRAVES |
25,037 |
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15,892 |
Do
Pirate fans prefer to see games against familiar opponents?
Perhaps, but maybe there's another explanation. Maybe there are
only 15,000 supporters of the home team, but when those neighbors
come to town, nearly 10,000 of their fans travel in to support them.
That
would mean 40% of those in the stands are wearing the opponent's
colors. Observation supports this hypothesis. The picture
below is from the 2015 Wild Card game, the last time that Pittsburgh
hosted postseason action.
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According
to the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, a ZIP code tabulation for
2017 showed that of those who bought Pirates tickets, only 65% were
from Pennsylvania, while 12% came from neighboring Ohio and West
Virginia and 23% were from farther away.
Spokesman
Brian Warecki says the visitors like coming into Pittsburgh,
staying in our hotels and enjoying our beautiful ballpark.
...We also offer a tremendous entertainment value ... a more
affordable option for fans of visiting teams than they might be
accustomed to in their home ballpark. |
For
me, this season's low point came on a Friday night, the sixth of
July, when the Phillies brought 9,846 phanatics to join our 15,000
Pirates diehards. I had the misfortune of being on the crew
televising that game back to Philadelphia. The home team lost
for the 11th time in 15 games, this time by the lopsided score of 17-5.
Moreover, the pace was excruciatingly slow: an average
interval of 4¼ minutes between balls in play. The game
lasted four hours and 30 minutes, which equaled the record for the
longest nine-inning game in the entire 143-year history of the
National League!
Less
than four weeks later, it seemed we might be on pace to shatter even
that record. The first pitch was at 7:06 PM, and by 8:48 we had
completed only three innings. At that rate, the ninth inning
wouldn't end until 12:12 AM. But then the pace picked up.
The game was over in 3½ hours, and we actually got to go home
before midnight.
SEPT.
23, 2018 SINK
GOOD MONEY AFTER BAD?
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Two
years ago, Hurricane Matthew struck the small South Carolina farming
community of Nichols. According to Mayor Lawson Battle, about
230 of the town's 261 homes were destroyed.
Nichols
recovered, and about 150 homes were rebuilt. But now those
rebuilt homes have been wiped out by new flooding, as Hurricane
Florence caused rivers to overflow again.
I
feel like I'm having a nightmare, Randy Bryan told the Raleigh
News & Observer for this article. |
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One
neighbor just had finished building his new house. Now, it's
gone, Bryant said.
Another
neighbor, 79-year-old Robbie White, had spent two years rebuilding
her home after Matthew. She was set to return later this month. But
Wednesday, her home was filled again with flood water.
It's
just a shame because everybody was just now getting their place back
together, you know, and now they're getting hit again, [Frank]
Oliver said. This is way worse than any of us thought it was
going to be. Hundred-year flood every two years, I mean, come on. |
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Is
this the new normal, as hurricanes become more intense due to global warming?
Let's
get it fixed, South Carolina Gov. Henry McMaster urged local
residents. He said the state is surveying all options to help
rebuild the areas affected by the flooding.
But
should residents rebuild?
Which
would be less wasteful? Keep on rebuilding every two years, or
abandon the flood-prone site and rebuild once in a better location?
Should
Nichols move to higher ground? |
SEPT.
21, 2008 TUÇSON
The
University of Arizona is located in Tuson. However, that's not
how the city's name is spelled. Local residents insist on
adding a c next to the s.
Now
this extraneous c does not affect the
pronunciation. Either it's silent or it's pronounced like
another s. Since the c is pointless, I
can never remember whether it should come before or after the real
s. Is the city spelled Tucson or Tuscon?
Either way seems equally nonsensical.
Here's
a mnemonic device: Replace the soft c with a hard
k. Then ask yourself which is better, Tukson or Tuskon?
Would
you rather see Jackie Chan with a Tux On or with a Tusk On?
Let's
go with Option 1. |
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SEPT.
18, 2018 BENCH
SCOOTING
My
father was an automobile dealer, so I noticed three slightly awkward
shot compositions involving vehicles in the 1960 movie Psycho.
At
55, 64, and 75 minutes, director Alfred Hitchcock positions a car in
the foreground at the Bates Motel. The left-hand door is
nearest the camera so we can see the driver clearly. But the
actor is instructed not to use that door. Instead, he opens the
door on the passenger side, sliding with some effort across
the full width of the front seat. By taking this shortcut, he
spares us from having to wait for him to walk halfway around the vehicle.
This
was possible because in those days, cars had bench seats.
There
were no contoured bucket seats. And other than the slight hump
on the floor for the transmission and driveshaft, there were no
obstacles (like floor-mounted gearshifts, or center consoles, or
buckle holders for seat belts) that would force a person to use only
one particular portal. |
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SEPT.
15, 2018 ZAMBOOZLED
In
1953, Andy Griffith recorded a comedy monologue, portraying a
country preacher who'd stumbled across a football game without
understanding what was going on.
Ten
years later, I was in high school. Some of the guys were
athletes, but I was a manager.
During
the winter months our school played only one sport, so I was a basketball manager. |
And
we had no mechanical floor polishers, so one of my pregame tasks was
to sweep the court with a dry mop like this guy.
However,
one must always be open to new experiences.
I've
imagined a mopper named Roscoe who encountered an entirely different
indoor sport. With a nod to Gary Clem's tale of a South
Carolinian who disassembled his camera after the second
half, I call this dialogue What
It Was, Was Hockey. |
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SEPT.
12, 2018 VULCANS
ON THE AIR
The
folks at California University of Pennsylvania, when Angelo Armenti
was president, wanted to increase their visibility by televising some
of their Vulcans games. They established a Vulcan Sports
Network. Essentially this network fed one station in Pittsburgh
and one FOX subsidiary satellite channel.
In
2010, CalU decided the network should have its own distinctive
visual style for football telecasts. It fell to me to make this
look practical, and I organized things my own way.
The argotic details have been preserved for posterity in my new
article on VSN
Graphics. |
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SEPT.
10, 2018 BE
SERENE? |
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Reinhold
Niebuhr prayed,
Grant
me serenity
to accept
the
things I cannot change,
courage
to change the things I can,
and
wisdom
to know the difference. |
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The
wise person says,
Here's
something that
I
wish I could change.
But
I know I can't. It is what it is.
Therefore,
I'll accept it.
I
shall serenely stop worrying. |
However
. . .
Winston
Churchill urged,
Never give in! Never give in! Never! Never!
Never!
Never! In nothing, great or small, large or petty!
And
Jim Valvano implored,
Don't give up! Don't ever give up! |
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Thus
the wise person is conflicted. |
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SEPT.
7, 2008 WE
ARE
OBERLIN
My
alma mater's football team the Division III "Yeomen"
of Oberlin College, once coached by John Heisman of trophy fame
can still claim a unique distinction.
That
distinction was in peril yesterday. In the third quarter, the
Ohio University Bobcats led the No. 3 Buckeyes of The Ohio State
University by a score of 14-6. But Ohio State averted the upset
and eventually won 26-14.
The
victory was OSU's 36th straight win over an in-state opponent.
What was the last Ohio school to defeat Ohio State in football? Oberlin!
It
was way back in 1921, the final season for the Buckeyes' Ohio Field
at High Street and Woodruff Avenue in Columbus. (The
"Horseshoe," Ohio Stadium, would open the following
year.) The final score: Oberlin 7, Ohio State 6.
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This
picture comes from a 1916 volume, Songs of Ohio State University.
(Where's the The?) The book originally belonged to Ruth
M. Ford; later, when she was my mother's friend Ruth Miller, she gave
it to me, and I've now colorized the photo. It appears above
the words and music to "Across the Field," Ohio State's
then-new fight song, written in 1915 by sophomore W.A. Dougherty Jr. |
The
song apparently was not enough when the Buckeyes faced the fearless
Yeomen in 1921.
  update
The
fearless Yeomen taunted those Ohio State losers with a cheer, or
"yell," which was already a tradition when the first
Oberlin yearbook was published in 1890.
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SEPT.
4, 2018 BLOWOUTS
When
I was a lad, today would have been the first day of school following
summer vacation: the day after Labor Day. Therefore the
first high school football game would have been this coming Friday.
But
times have changed, and school starts earlier now. In the
Pittsburgh area, the WPIAL played 116 football games in August.
Margins
of Victory, August 2018
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The
results were unusually lopsided. One would prefer games to be
competitive, with the wins by 14 points or less, but only 28% of
those early-season contests met that criterion (the blue portion of
this histogram). The average margin was 25 points. |
On
August 25 Imani Christian, having scored touchdowns on its first
three plays from scrimmage, led 58-0 at halftime. After that,
the coaches agreed to cut the 12-minute quarters in half, and a
mercy rule kept the clock running following incompletions
and such. Thus the final score was merely 80-6.
Other
matchups resulted in embarrassing shutouts of 41-0, 43-0, 45-0,
46-0, 48-0 (three times), 62-0, and 63-0. Serves those kids
right for wearing game jerseys before Labor Day.
SEPT.
1, 2018 WE
ALSO SAW MAX MORATH
When
September of 1968 rolled around, it was time for WOBC to sign on
again. Jan Olson and I went to church together, although she
did berate me on the second occasion for my failure to issue a proper
invitation. And we had cast parties!
Click here
for my latest installment in the 14-month series recalling my life 50
years ago.
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