NOV. 18, 2017 THE FLAIR WITCH PROJECT
Putting her Thanksgiving turkey in the oven, that's Elizabeth Montgomery as Samantha. I think this episode of the TV series Bewitched aired in November of 1970.
Notice that she doesn't have to bend down to reach the oven. But what's the deal with the levitating door?
I recognize this as a Flair built-in electric range from Frigidaire, which until 1979 was a division of General Motors.
When I arrived in Western Pennsylvania in 1974, the steel industry was slowly shutting down. Manufacturers were cutting labor costs, and unions were no longer winning lucrative new contracts.
As I watched the local news, I thought there should be four desks in the studio: News, Weather, Sports, and Strikes. Every night there were several stories about labor unrest: deadlines being set, no progress being reported, talks breaking off, walkouts entering their seventh month.
Unions are less powerful nowadays. Many public employees can't strike at all. When the air traffic controllers tried it, President Reagan fired and replaced them. Why should public employees be allowed to withhold their services? They're not working for some evil corporation; they're working for we the people, and we're the good guys, aren't we?
Pennsylvania is one of 13 states where public school teachers do have the right to strike. But it's a farce. State law says they can walk out for a few weeks, provided that the students still get their mandated 180 days of instruction by the end of the school year in June.
So if the teachers do walk, as they did in the Seneca Valley school district October 15, the first thing that's done is to calculate when they must return. The authorities determine the latest possible date to achieve 180 days, assuming that all vacations are cancelled and all holidays are cancelled except Thanksgiving Day, Christmas Day, New Year's Day, and Memorial Day. In the case of the Seneca Valley district, that date is tomorrow. Then everyone sits back and merely waits for the month-long strike to expire.
The teachers and the school board make a few negotiating noises, accusing each other of not bargaining in good faith, but neither side has any leverage. The teachers aren't shutting down the education factory; they're only rescheduling their vacations. They'll take their time off this month instead of during the Christmas and Easter seasons. They'll still get paid for 180 days, so they're not losing anything. Meanwhile, the administrators will still meet their production goals by the end of the year, so they're not losing anything either.
Who does lose? The citizens. Families must reschedule activities that they had planned for what they thought would be school vacations. Students run into additional problems; for example, high school seniors miss deadlines for college applications.
What does the strike accomplish? The teachers get to vent their frustration at failing to negotiate a favorable contract. But the accusations they make against the school board, and the complaints that the board makes against them, turn community opinion against everyone connected with the school system.
There must be a better way for teachers' unions to exert pressure on their employers. Unfortunately, I don't know what it is.
NOV. 13, 2017 RAIN DANCE
Sonny Perdue, once a Democrat, became the Trump administration's Secretary of Agriculture in April.
I remember that Sonny was the governor of Georgia in 2007 when the state was suffering a severe drought. Atlanta's main water supply, a reservoir 30 miles north of the city, was at record low levels. Unless the Lord sends the rain, the lakes all dry up and the crops die.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, Captain Obvious reminds us. But only if you throw it at him.
Actually, keeping the doctor away is an outmoded concept that might puzzle the young'uns.
Nowadays, tweets Ellen Carmichael, In a world of Amazon Prime and UberEATS, I'm most surprised that we haven't returned to house calls for doctors.
Personally, I dimly remember one house call when I was about seven and had the mumps. I learned my lesson. I've never come down with the mumps again.
NOV. 8, 2017 YOU'D LOVE TO TURN US ON
-iday Inn's banquet room.
You see, it would require far fewer of those cubes to fill a paper sack. Similarly, compared to a national TV network, our local cable TV channel had far fewer resources. Yet it was that very localness that enabled us to compete for viewers, sort of.
In my new article Quoth the Program Director, I explain this madness. A recipe is included.
One of my colleagues tells of the time he found himself playing golf with three strangers. He didn't want to come off as some big shot from the glamorous world of television, because he's not that kind of guy. So he was evasive when one of the strangers asked him what he did for a living. He joked, "Oh, I paint lines on the highway."
"Really?" said the stranger. "That's what I do! Do you work for the state highway department or the county?"
"Uh, actually," my colleague had to admit, "I'm not a painter. Sorry; I was just trying to be funny. I didn't mean to demean your chosen profession, but it was the most unimportant job I could think of on the spur of the ... of the ... this is not going well."
First picture: Keith Jackson when, for Billy Wilder's 1966 movie The Fortune Cookie, he pretended to be in the pressbox at Cleveland's Municipal Stadium. I myself purchased a similar hat and coat and gloves. Earmuffs even.
Second picture: I still had that outfit when, for a 1981 cable TV commercial, I pretended to be reporting from a high school football playoff game. Yes, this is how we football broadcasters used to go on camera.
Back in ancient times, more than twenty years ago, the second personal computer that I owned was a TRS-80 Model 100 from Radio Shack. This early laptop had an advanced LCD display (eight lines of 32 characters, monochrome of course). It featured software by Microsoft, some of which was written by Bill Gates himself.
Sportswriters found the lightweight Model 100 useful for typing their stories in the pressbox, then feeding them back to the newspaper office over its 300-baud modem.
I developed some other uses for mine, as I mentioned in this article.
One of them was a program that I wrote in BASIC to add up the segment times during the production of a TV show. That's not a trivial problem. Suppose a half-hour show starts at noon. It has five segments, but only the middle segment will be live. The other four segments are pretaped, and their lengths are 5:09, 2:59, 3:12, and 5:44. If each of the four commercial breaks will be two minutes long, what length should we plan for the live segment? When should it end?
My "Avprod" program could give me the answers with a minimum of fuss. (They're 4:56 and 12:17:04 pm, respectively.) And as with a regular spreadsheet, I could change a number and see what effect that had on other numbers.
for fun, I rewrote the program today for a modern computer. If
you want, you can download that Excel spreadsheet here.
When we look back on our lives, many of us have a special year that stands out as our favorite. For me, it was the year I turned 21.
Historians might say 1968 was a terrible year. Martin Luther King and Robert Kennedy were assassinated. The war in Viet Nam continued. Protesters marched and rioted. All around the globe, as Mark Kurlansky wrote in 1968: The Year That Rocked the World, people were rebelling over disparate issues and had in common only ... a sense of alienation from the established order and a profound distaste for authoritarianism in any form.
I didn't keep a diary per se. However, my archives include quite a bit of memorabilia from that time, including letters I sent and received, a collection of WOBC program guides, a lab notebook, and other souvenirs. I can also link to additional details that I've previously posted on this website.
There's so much material that I'm actually going to begin a couple of months early, on the occasion of my first date with a young lady who would become my lifelong friend. You can click here for that first installment.
OCT. 31, 2017 GET OUT OF MY CHURCH
Once upon a time a young man, having just earned a master's degree at the University of Erfurt, followed his father's wishes and enrolled in law school there. But almost immediately he dropped out. To him, law represented ambiguity, with arguments on both sides. He wanted something without doubt. He wanted something he could be sure of, something like Christianity.
We hunger for certainty. That is a big problem, says Adam Frank. Religions are often built around this. Scriptures are transformed into unwavering blueprints for an unchanging order ... monuments to the fear of change.
OCT. 27, 2017 HATRED ENDURES, ROOTING INTENSIFIES
In days of yore, when the University of Pittsburgh competed in the same athletic conference as West Virginia University, their partisans absolutely despised each other.
(Those Backyard Brawls came to an end, as I noted five years ago, when the two universities relocated more than a thousand miles apart. The Panthers headed toward the ocean while the Mountaineers aimed their muskets at Texas. They're now members of the Atlantic Coast Conference and the Big 12 respectively.)
Evidently, supporters of nearby rivals especially immature supporters have always reveled in their mutual hatred. A Dodger fan who is now extremely mature (almost 103 years old) was quoted yesterday in a Los Angeles Times article by Hailey Branson-Potts.
But when the opponent isn't a traditional rival, there's less animosity in the stands, at least among baseball fans in Pittsburgh. I wrote ten years ago about Pirate followers who observe the game respectfully, as though they're attending a play and applauding only at the end of an act. To competitive Delegators, the Spectators appear apathetic. The Tribune-Review's Joe Starkey noted, Pirates ownership actually deserves credit for cultivating a fan base that, by-and-large, couldn't care less what happens on the field. During the previous night's game, at one critical point with the tying run on second base, the TV crew noticed that the audience was simply watching quietly, waiting to see what would happen next.
Apparently the local fans have behaved with like decorum ever since the Pirates lost to the Yankees in the 1927 Series. However, over the years, other fan bases have become more emotionally invested.
OCT. 26, 2017 DEAR PRUDISH
As soon as the Beatles released their White Album in 1968, our college radio station began airing all 30 tracks. When we played one in particular, eyebrows were raised and snickers suppressed. The lyrics, in their entirety: Why don't we do it in the road? No one will be watching us.
For any prudes out there, I'd like to offer alternative facts.
As you may know, by 1966 the Fab Four had become tired of performing live on stage. Their loudly enthusiastic audiences were drowning out the songs, and there were travel hassles. So after a final concert in San Francisco's Candlestick Park, George Harrison exclaimed, That's it. I'm not a Beatle anymore! Their touring days were over.
However, that didn't mean they had to stop playing and singing. Studio recordings were still an option.